Five Acres families, who provide a loving, permanent home to children in foster care, receive education, resources, and linkages to community support. Photo courtesy of Five Acres
As parents, our instinct is often to put our children’s needs ahead of our own—especially during times of crisis or uncertainty. But just like the in-flight safety message reminds us to secure our own oxygen mask before assisting others, caring for our own emotional well-being is essential before we can effectively support our children.
Five Acres Director of Training and Organizational Development Kate McGevna offers 10 parenting tips that are practical, compassionate strategies for managing your stress, staying grounded, and modeling healthy coping skills. Being a calm and steady presence for your child during uncertain times can bring comfort and a sense of security to both of you.
1. Regulate your own emotions first
Before addressing your child’s fears, take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you feeling anxious, overwhelmed or scared? Practice deep breathing, grounding techniques or a short mindfulness exercise. Children are highly attuned to your emotional state – your calm helps them feel safe.
Try these quick ways to regulate your nervous system:
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- Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds. Repeat this 3 times.
- Slowly count backwards from 20 to 1
- Look around your room and name all the colors you can see
2. Get informed, but set boundaries
Stay informed about the situation (e.g., a natural disaster, global event, or family crisis), but avoid doom-scrolling or consuming excessive media. Choose reliable sources and limit your exposure to distressing content so you can stay grounded and present for your child.
Try this tip: Set a timer for news updates – 15 minutes max, twice a day.
3. Rehearse what you want to say
Think through how you will explain the situation in age-appropriate language. Rehearsing helps you stay composed and clear. Avoid overwhelming details – focus on what your child needs to know and how they can stay safe.
Example: “There’s a storm coming, but we’re prepared and safe. We’ll stay safe inside and keep each other company.”
4. Build a support system
Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist to process your own fears and emotions. You do not need to carry the weight alone. When you feel supported, you’re better equipped to support your child. You are also teaching your child the importance of asking for help and building a strong community.
Remember: Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
5. Model resilience and hope
Children learn how to cope by watching you. Show them that it is ok to feel scared, but also demonstrate how to find hope, take action, and stay connected. Your resiliency becomes their roadmap. Actively listen to your kids and validate how they are feeling. Validate their feelings and emotions.
Say this: “It’s ok to be nervous. We’re in this together, and we’ll get through it.”
6. Maintain a predictable routine
Children feel safer when they know what to expect. Even in chaotic times, try to keep consistent mealtimes, bedtimes and daily rituals. Routines provide a sense of normalcy and control.
Tip: Create a simple daily schedule with your child and post it somewhere visible.
7. Use simple, honest language
Avoid sugarcoating or overexplaining. Speak truthfully in a way your child can understand. This build trust and helps them process reality without unnecessary fear.
Try this: “Yes, things are different right now, but we are doing everything we can to stay safe.”
8. Encourage expression through play or art
Children often express emotions through drawing, storytelling or pretend play. Give them space to process their feelings in creative ways. This can also be a great outlet for you too!
Try this: Ask your child to draw how they are feeling or create a “feelings journal” together.
9. Focus on what you can control
Help your child (and yourself) shift focus from the unknown to what is within your control – like handwashing, stating connected with loved ones, or preparing an emergency kit.
Say this: “We can’t control everything, but we can take steps to stay safe and help others.”
10. Celebrating small wins and joyful moments
Even in tough times, look for moments of joy, laughter, progress or gratitude. Celebrating these things helps build resilience and reminds your child that good things still exist.
Tip: End each day by sharing one good thing that happened, no matter how small.
Parenting through uncertainty doesn’t require perfection—it calls for presence, compassion, and the willingness to care for yourself along the way. By tending to your own emotional needs, you build the resilience needed to guide your child through challenges with calm, clarity, and hope. When you regulate your emotions, seek support, and find small moments of joy, you’re not just surviving tough times—you’re teaching your child how to thrive through them.
To learn more about Five Acres, visit 5acres.org.